High Risk Situation – Part 2

Ambulance

Friday night my brother fell down 5 meter from his balcony black-outed drunk.

His neighbours came to help, and on a “neck-board” he was rushed by ambulance into emergency room. Besides numerous bruses they haven’t found anything broken. He has very bad back pains – I truly truly hope he can be so lucky to come through without “severe damaged” which would be miracle ! – He fell directly on concrete and could so easily have died !

Still shocked – I drove him home friday night after the concert.

On a sidenote – finally deciding to share it :
During the concert he and one of his friends started drinking ridiciously hard. Beer, licquer and shots. (I have never been into shots and hardly liqueir). So be, but the worst part being they started annoying people in a both childish and AGRESSIVE way. Sticking empty shot-tubes in the back-pockets of strangers in front. Picking on girls obviously there with their boyfriends. I don’t know how to categorize “drunk behaviour”, but the two of us are different – I only turned overly loving, over-sharing, overly imitate. But never AGRESSIVE. I have never been at fight my entire life. knock on wood. Unfortunately I have seen my brother a few times acting out like this before. I tried to calm them down, I gave up and enjoyed the concert for my self in a distance where I could still keep an eye on them, but without them noticing me.

When leaving the venue my brother was to pick up his jacket – had mine in the car – we agreed to meet just outside our Exit. He somehow managened to slip by. Follwowing numerours calls and texts, me freezing like hell, I finally found him and his buddy in a fearce drunk agressive argument in the parking lot, about to turn into a fight. Me “the big brother” managed to seperate the two, and with some resistance they agreed on the buddy continuing “the night in town”, and me driving my brother home as orginally agreed.

Both in the car and at dropping him of at his house he continued his aggressive behaviour. This time arguing about me staying over so we could continue drinking (No way – stupid !! ).
I managed to get him into his house, playing the sweet “manly brotherly love” note.

I had some very sorry moments my 60 km drive home at 01,30, arguing his case about this only being alcohol speaking, So hoped this should have turned out different. But tomorrow is a new day.

An unknown number of hours later, he fel 5 meters down his balcony, black-outed drunk.

Alcohol is a shitty bastard. I truly truly hope this will only end up as a big warning. He is a craft-man and if he had any of the “limitations” I still have following my traffic accident last year, he cannot continue his line of work. (no alcohol or speeding or the like was part of that). At best he will consider his way of drinking, with a big lessons learned.

For now I will repeat my own comment on the original HIgh Risk Environment post (not aware of his accident at the time) :

“A NOTE TO SELF IF I SHOULD EVER QUESTION MY DECISION ABOUT A SOBER LIVING ! :

Sobriety is growing on me as “my way of life”.

Mostly I believe Sobriety will grow to be the enabler for living the life I truly want to”

/Soberman – hoping and praying my brother too stil has his change to live the life the he wants to !

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13 thoughts on “High Risk Situation – Part 2

  1. Wow! He is very lucky! My first ex was like that: Instant a-hole, just add alcohol. I don’t know how many club fights I sidled away from, casually pretending like I didn’t know him:) I hope this is a wake up call for your brother.

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    1. I haven’t confronted him with his behaviour Friday – yet. (calmer water needed) But I have too. Will try to differentiate his behaviour / our relationship from how he will do towards his “further drinking”. Will not allow him to “shit in my sober nest”:-) Will find other ways of being together – without alcohol !

      Feeling very robust in my second serious go on quitting for good, I tilted on a “clear blue sky day” / moderation attempt, so my focus will primarily be on fixing me – long-term ! (track-record of spending all my resources on saving anybody else – noble Yes, but long term sobriety is about learning to love and respect me and my life !)

      For now I will just be a leading star 😉

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  2. Wow..what a night! Do hope your brother will be okay! As the person said above you must take care of YOU first …early sobriety may not be the best time to figure out your relationship with your brother or that he himself shoud give up alcohol…not your cross to bear! Didn’t this experience confirm how wonderful sobriety is? Hang in there…this was a multicolored weekend!

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  3. Woah – sorry to hear that. What a night :/
    So many people I know that drink a lot turn aggressive. Sadly it seems to become normalised in certain circles. It’s not okay. He probably won’t take it well but hopefully this accident (which really sounds horrendous) might help him realise it’s too much.
    I suggest you tell him you love him but can’t be around him when he’s drinking because 1. You need to look after you 2. why would you want to spend a night watching him be aggressive and/or a jerk to people. And that’s what drink does to him. Coffee? Lunch? Yeh – no problem buddy…

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  4. Wow. My stomach clenched when I was reading this. I feel awful for all involved. It’s strange (but good) the amount of empathy I feel for people still in the grip of alcoholism, no matter what their behavior. Drunk people are still responsible for their actions, but they do (and I did) things that would never have happened without the “shitty bastard” alcohol. Glad you were there for your brother. I highly suspect my older and only brother is an alcoholic, but I’m rarely around him…and he doesn’t want to talk about my recovery. Perhaps one day we can.

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  5. Wow, I’m really sorry to hear this, Soberman. What a crazy night. If any good can come of this, it’s that on this truly awful night, when something truly awful ended up happening, he’ll look back and remember you being there too, but without alcohol. I think that will end up being very powerful for him, if he can allow it to be. On your side of things, I hope you don’t let all the drama take away from the fact that you stayed sober in the midst of all that insanity. That’s huge. Not just for yourself and your sobriety, but in this one chance, that could have been missed, you might just have provided the sober example he needs to make some changes in his own life…

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  6. THX alot for all of your comments / your best wishes.

    I had a long talk with my brother today. First of all, as the doctors hardly could believe, his body looks all beaten up, but it seems as if he will come through this without one broken bone ! Secondly, He couldn’t hold up his denial and (of course) excused his behaviour the more I helped his lost memory. I will wrap up this issue for now with him having a hole lot of thinking to do.

    And regarding one very important person in my world : ME 🙂

    Yes, still sober (of course ;-)). Kids where returned this afternoon – so it’s a tough Monday in the empty house. To avoid the head spinning I just spent hours in the kitchen(I admit that I for second missed the redvine that used to go along me cooking) Proud me decided that as I am seek and tired of others trying to rock my still fragile platform, there is absolutely no reason to start rocking it myself. Up for an early good night.

    thanks again.

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