Frankly, what are MY odds ? Yours ?

amusements parks 3

A truly saddening experience yesterday. Spent time cleaning up on the huge “Blogs I Follow” list / revisiting fellow travelers from prior to my relapse.

What an extremely high rate of mortality in Sober Blogging. All these struggling people now Missing In Action. All those broken dreams, crushed hopes – again. Some blogs with only a few optimistic posts. Like finding a small breathing hole in the ice for a short while. Other abandoned blogs tell stories about a lot of effort, about being honest to the bone and heartfelt – truly beliving in changes. Other blogs simply vanishing. Sending my very best to all of You, may you keep going and find your way to sobriety.

About to abort the clean-up, but kept scrolling down that long list. Made me both more sorry and scared. What are MY odds for staying put ? Luckily I was rewarded with alot of constructive thinkingΒ  about how I am doing different from the bloggers now missing. No elevator pitch on that one yet.

Only answer for now is paying respect that this is hard work. That it will require discipline – but this again is contradictory to my belief that this is not (only) about hard work. It’s also about finding the root couses. The Why’s ? And allow myself love, joy and pride during the ride. Not wait for the “then/or/if” to happen. That answers is too still Work in Progress.Β Will keep the question in focus !

What Do you do Different from the falling ones ?


/Soberman – best wishes for the Missing-in-Action Sober Bloggers !

28 thoughts on “Frankly, what are MY odds ? Yours ?

  1. I’ve though about MIA bloggers, too. It could be that they got busy, found out blogging wasn’t for them, or otherwise moved on but have stayed sober…God, I hope that’s the case.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is my 3rd account on WP πŸ™‚
    I used to get to a point where I was hating who I was so much, that I would eliminate everything I wrote and everything I had put into my blogs, because I was so disgusted with myself that I was failing all of my own expectations. And honestly, there have been a few times when I felt like leaving this one too. But there is something I want to do differently now – I want to change, simply change, and I find that there is a huge outlet for me here. I also find folks, like yourself, that offer some great encouragement and advice. Sometimes people are successful, sometimes they are not, sometimes people stay, sometimes they do not. On some level, I feel various levels of sorrow and sometimes I dream that people have found what they needed.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing. About doing different, I really was considering deleting Soberman too during and following my relapse. Instead I decided the opposite. Something about Acceptance I believe. Even though stil anonymous I have decided to share still more about myself. I am not and never will be a poster child anyway so why not ad a little extra honesty by ‘recycling’ my blog. Glad my ramblings holds some value out there. Hugs /s

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I did the same thing yesterday. After being gone for over 6 months I checked in with all my old buddy bloggers. A large percentage of them just weren’t there any longer. The old “this xxx doesn’t exist any longer” It was sad. We had such a good thing going for more than a year, then poof – I disappear, they disappear 😦 But I’m back and finding new people – like you – to read and gather strength from. Thanks, Soberman πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  4. MIA Bloggers – that’s such a great phase. I too disappeared, came back and searched for old friends. And I deleted all that I’d posted before. Deleting my old posts, for me at least, was more to do with trying to keep facing forward… Hey ho, I’m glad we’re all right here, right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. although hardly writing (English is not my first language, others do that way better than I) I am still here, reading, recognising, following, commenting, lurking… very grateful for all people who have the great ability to share.
    thanks all, thanks soberman!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are welcome. Thx for dropping by and congrats on staying (long term) sober πŸ™‚

      Regarding English being first language, I have the same issue. Too time consuming to try those wonderfully structured well articulated post that others do so well. So we just have to partake in our best ways πŸ™‚


      Liked by 1 person

  6. I disappear for months at a time but not because I am drunk but because being sober keeps me busy. Sometimes too busy to write. i enjoy it, I don’t know if anyone else does but it helps to clear the noise out of my head, at times. Discipline is exactly what it requires of me. And the Big Book even calls us undisciplined and for me that hits the nail on the head. I’m flighty, even on my best day. But I have learned to be disciplined in certain ares that were crucial to my recovery My forever Prayer is that my HP lets me stay! I hope you stay with me :).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I will love to stay the sober way with You. I am to relearn discipline. Still being to emotional / driven by short term fulfillment of my own needs. HP / Christianity / Buddism/ what-ever. Most of us somehow I believe must learn we are no longer the center of the univers. Respectful and humble towards our loved ones and the world around. Thx for sharing. Your blog is inspirational:-)


      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! It is a personal journey for all of us and what works for you may not work for me and vice versa. But I can learn from anyone as long as I stay open minded enough and willing enough to continue to take action. I cannot stay still. I must always be moving. I just stick to spiritual I’m glad I met you on my journey. Looking forward to walking the path with you. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  7. As one without her own blog I must say I really appreciate the time that you bloggers take to share your stories. I know for sure that reading and sharing is a huge part of my sobriety this time around…the not doing it alone thing is important than I realized. For me the online world, exercise and simply not ever wanting to go through those first few months again is what keeps me sober. For those of you who have never relapsed…it really sucks and you DO NOT want to go there. So thanks to you all!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Pamela, thanks for joining the dialog.

      Congratulations on your long term sobriety.

      I come from a small country – no vital blogging community besides fashion. I was extremly helpful for me when I first found this (English speaking) blogging cosmos. Spent numerous hours on reading blogs. Not being alone is key to me too.

      Relapsing is so ugly. Having just reached highs, gained confidence and self love. Then ending up in self loafing only leading to more self loafing is a bad place to. Simply so lucky to be back on the wonderful track.


    1. THX – With You fellow bloggers around holding head High is easy,

      Or as we say in Denmark : always hold your head high If standing in shit neck deep :-). Ha ha … Sorry πŸ™‚ – had a tough knee surgery this morning – so high on Pain killers πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I’ve often had the same thoughts. Where did they go? WHY did they go? Earlier on (I mean, I’m a whole 50ish days now…) it make me feel that if ‘they’ can’t do it, neither can I. But I still stuck at ‘it’ and reminded myself that it’s one day at a time, and this is my journey and no one elses.

    And ultimately, even if ‘they’ drink again – hopefully something would have changed. The amount I have learnt about myself, and alcohol, and the effects of it, and my true relationship of it – I know if I started drinking again, I wouldn’t be the same. But, I just can’t see why I would want to.

    I can’t imagine anyone that has blogged consistently for a while, and had a taste of the sober life will regret that. Or, perhaps, like many of my paper journals over the years – when I just felt stuff was going alright I hardly wrote. Cute a month or so of depression, or a break up – I’d be writing all the time…

    A little off track – the second pic is in Chernobyl right? (Pripyat?)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Site track first. Yep, found a serie of pictures from an amusement park in Berlin. When pasting into the post I noticed one of the pictures was from the terrible Chernobyl disaster.

    I learned myself, following my relapse that something had changed. That all I have learned from other bloggers and my own blogging. of course stayed with me. I believe this to be one of the reasons while staying sober now feels so much easier. As I wrote in another post. “Just like plugging in” – Continuing the sober journey. Not like starting all over.

    Cheers to the “Sober Blogging Network” πŸ˜‰

    And CONGRATS on the 50+ !



  10. Thanks this is nice. I’m an MIA I think. I’ve sort of faded from writing but I still read. Unfortunately I still drink too. But this was very thoughtful, I could use the well-wishes. So thanks again and I’m so happy for you that you’re back on the path. No matter the relapses, every day not drinking is better than drinking so everyone is to be congratulated on every sober day, week, year. Yoga is awesome, but I didn’t love it at first. it might take a few classes to sink in, or it might take trying a few different types. i’m glad you’re giving it a chance.


  11. I have drifted off from blogging ever since I hit 1 year. Then I relapsed a few months later. I need to sit down and read my whole blog again and start reading the ones I follow. It really helped me early in sobriety and maybe again now that I am starting over.


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