Just returned from my doctors office. No drama today but next time I will be looking forward to those needles !
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I ended the last workday of 2014 in the hospital. Rushed in for blood tests and cardiograms following nasty pains in leg and chest. Luckily no blood clots found this time, though test showed my stress, lack of sleep and my drinking and smoking would take me back in soon !
When slowly heading for the exit in the hallway of the hospital I still remember this moment of NO WAY.
No matter what new accidents and traumas that current shitstorm of my life would have up for me and my dear family, I simply could not go home and continue my path in 2015.
No more ignoring my health. No more being a victim of this life. No more down-wards spirals. No more afraid of dying !
This was not how the story of my life should be anymore !
Now Turn Page : Today sitting at the doctors office “proud” and smiling :
No smoking since December 31th – and no problem at all : YES
No drink since January 31th. Stable and still learning : YES
Good nights sleep – Finally : YES
Weekly steady routine of going to the gym 5 times a week : YES
Regular and healthy meals : YES
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I have an appointment for a 6 month follow-up testing in June.
And for the first time in life I will be looking forward to that needle. Visualizing walking down the hallway of the hospital. Summer. Fit, strong, healthy look with my head up high – aiming for the perfect scores on what-ever parameters in those damn blood tests.
Hubris with less than a 100 days sober and already “trumpets” ?! . If it is hubris I wil not see it myself, right ?
And If You have any good advice for me going ahead please reach out. Truly appriciated.
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But for now – what I am doing is working for me.
Live to be a 100 years ? No idea. No plan.
But I know I am not trying to kill myself anymore.
Heading for High Score – one day at a time